Anyone out there struggle with relinquishing control? I know I do.

First, a fertility update: the HSC is done! And the results were positive. A true answer to prayer. No surgery needed at this time!! I was scared about this procedure. I was scared about the results as well. But mostly, the sedation/twilight is what really had me worried. Didn’t like the idea of not being in control. Afterward, I felt fine, but drowsy and that made me nervous. Like I had no control over how I was feeling.

This leads me to my second point. Anxiety. Anyone else worry about this stuff? Maybe just me. When I have a set back (semi-panic attack in public), all I can think about is, do I have any control over this stuff? I don’t like losing control. I know this about myself. Losing control usually worries me more than the thing itself. But, the first thing they tell you to do, is to surrender and accept it. This is so true in so many other areas of our life. For instance, how am I trusting God if I’m trying to control every aspect of my life? I don’t know…

Today’s mantra: I surrender all!

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