Wrap Up — December 29, 2015

Wrap Up

So as we wrap up the new year, I find myself reflecting on what 2015 meant to me. It meant being brave, stepping out of my comfort zone, trusting, believing, failing, grieving, panicking and most importantly, growing. I grew so much. Of course, I tend to focus a bit too much on all my setbacks, but overall, I surprised myself this year. I always said I’d never do IVF and here I am – doing it! We found out yesterday that we will be transferring our one and only embryo on Monday. Wow wow wow. I’m a mixed bag of emotions, but trying to focus on finding God’s peace.

I hope 2015 has been a memorable one for you. I for sure wont forget it. I can’t wait to see what 2016 has in store for us. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

Merry Miracles — December 22, 2015

Merry Miracles

Tis the season for miracles! The miracle of finding the perfect Christmas gift for a loved one, surviving mall mobs, cooking a delicious feast for your family and friends. And most importantly, the birth of Jesus.

While we celebrate this Christmas season, I’m praying for my own miracle…a child. Last fall, my husband and I began our infertility journey. Throughout the year we endured 4 failed IUI’s (intrauterine insemination) and are now undergoing IVF. Next week, we will transfer our one and only embryo in the hopes that it will implant and I will become pregnant. While this is scary and stressful, I’m reminded of God’s perfect timing. He knew the time to place me in this situation. Christmas. Christmas gives me hope. It gives me strength and supernatural peace that could only come from Jesus.

I can only imagine how Mary felt when the angel visited her and said she was to carry the Messiah. The Lord chose her. He knew exactly when we needed Him the most and He came into this world to save us. This is the season to remember we are blessed and miracles happen every second of every day.

What miracles are you praying for this season?

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. – Isaiah 7:14

Meds to Mama — December 14, 2015

Meds to Mama

Meds (estrace) went up today. Upping meds always makes me a little nervous, but I’m getting through it! Next appointment is Friday. It will be an ultrasound, blood work and pre op for transfer. Let me say that again–TRANSFER! My baby embryo will be transferred into my uterus. This is blowing my mind!!!

Speaking of minds being blown, this morning I looked in the mirror and told myself that I’m gonna be a mom. I know it’s not my call and it’s in God’s hands, but I said it and I believed it. This made me smile. That’s a first for me. This whole experience has been so anxiety inducing that it’s almost impossible to feel good about it. But the anxiety cloud lifted for a moment and I allowed myself to truly believe.

Tis the season for believing in miracles. I hope to be one of God’s many miracles this Christmas.

Me Monday — December 8, 2015

Me Monday

Declaring it ME Monday again! Tonight I will focus on the positive and appreciate the small wins of the day:

  • Got through work (successfully)
  • Afternoon Starbucks excursion with my dear friend Patty (Merry Monday-half off fraps!)
  • Heard from a new counselor (looking into transitioning to someone new)
  • Texted with my sister in Haiti (on a cruise with my mom)
  • Had my quiet time when I got home (bible and journal)
  • Received a package (Christmas gifts)
  • And last but not least–I’m watching a Hallmark movie as I write this blog! (My Boyfriend’s Dogs)

IVF Update: Day 3 of phase 2 of transfer (lupron, estrace, zpak). Next appointment is on Friday (ultrasound & blood work). But today is Monday and today is for ME…and baby to be 🙂


Hormone Heaven — December 1, 2015

Hormone Heaven

Day 6 of transfer meds! Currently on lupron and just finished up BC. AF on the way and then another appt. on Friday. Oh the wonder of hormones! I think I’m doing okay with it all. Moment by moment is how I live these days. Pray without ceasing! I appreciate any and all steps I take. It could literally be walking into work. I give thanks for all of it.

Read a devotional today about the key to balancing our lives is making Jesus the center of our lives. I love this. A question that I reflected on,

“How do you do know what you’re building your life around? Take a look at whatever you think about the most. That’s what is driving you.”

It didn’t take me long to arrive at the answer. It’s ME. I think about ME the most. And although there’s nothing wrong with self-care and I’m definitely trying to practice that more, I’m talking about all the ME stuff that doesn’t help ME. Like what I’m dreading, fearing, or worried about. These are the things that I give way too much attention to. I want to change my lenses. I want to stop looking through the binoculars (looking ahead) and view my life through the lens of hope.

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