round 2 — February 23, 2016

round 2

Today I made an appointment to discuss next steps. It’s over a month away which makes me happy. I have no idea what will happen until then or what we’ll be hearing at the appointment, but I’m gonna make an effort to give it over to God every day.

Infertility is a journey with many twists and turns. And I love roller coasters, but this is the scariest one yet. So I have to ask, why would I take the ride twice? Am I nuts? Perhaps. When a roller coaster takes off, I usually say a prayer. Here’s my IVF Frenzy (coaster name) prayer:

Lord as I take off on this ride, I pray to roll with the tide.
May I feel the wind in my hair and help me not to despair.
I know I might fall, but you’ll be with me through it all.

It’s been a month — February 15, 2016

It’s been a month

I have missed you all the past 2 weeks! I was in NJ visiting family and then last week I decided to do yoga instead of blog. Sometimes a break is good.

So, it’s been a month since our negative beta test. Been a tough month, but also an amazing one. Everyone’s compassion, empathy and love have been extraordinary. I’m so grateful for the people in our lives who are praying and grieving with us. They help me have hope.

Now begins the big wait…what do we do and when do we do it? I have no idea when the right time is to start this adventure again. I’m telling myself that waiting for my bod to get back on track is a good thing. And it is, but I’m still dreading going through this again. It’s a tough road and I know my doc is going to want to do surgery. I don’t want surgery. I’m scared. I think I’m gonna try and bundle up all this fear, anxiety, questions and hand it over. Giving it over to you God. Take it and make it beautiful like only you know how to do.

(image taken while visiting family – it was a great trip)

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